Typography & design by
Richard Wolfströme

Exhibition and installation
by Standard 8

Website
Words William Shaw
Design Richard Wolfströme
Photography Kenny Laurenson

Publishing consultant Adrian Driscoll

An Unmadeup Production

"How much have you had to drink, sir?"

Top Totty Club, 75 Grand Parade

Spent about a thousand pounds this weekend. Still got some left. Early afternoon, Dave goes into Ladbrokes to kill some time before they go and starts putting money in the roulette machine. What happened last night?

Can’t really remember, be honest. Nothing you’d want to know. Dave and his two mates from Essex have come down for the weekend. Dave is a broker at a big bank in London. They’re all young, around 20, all earning. They’ve known each other since school.

Around seven last night he remembers being in some bar in Bond Street. They were all on the lager. And Dave bought some chasers too. Chewbacca. No, Tuaca, that’s it. It’s a bit like grappa, isn’t it?

After a while the barman comes over and tells them to get out. Bit drunk. Not surprising. They’d been drinking since they got to Brighton the night before.

Up the road, Dave and his mates found a comedy club. Must have been around eight. Comedium? Chameleon? Paid a nice sum to get in, then the management said they weren’t allowed to talk in there. They was absolutely ruined, of course. Fully charged. Duracell.

Threw us out again. One of many. Can’t really remember what else. Apart from this strip club. Be honest, can’t really remember where. Do you know that big Taj Mahal thing? Opposite there, that’s the puppy. It was good. They weren’t exactly top, really. Top-less, yes. Not the best looking birds. Seen better heads on a hammer.

There they were, three blokes throwing money and abuse at these birds, then this guy came up and said to Dave, "How much have you had to drink, sir?"

Dave took a guess. "Well, I must have been going at least 24 hours, so that must be, what... 25 pints?" "You have to go, sir." Heigh ho. They obliged. Can’t remember what else. Crashed out at a friend’s place. They’ll be driving back up to London soon. See how quickly they can get up the M23 back home, a few more pints, then bed and work in the morning.

For now though, Dave is in Ladbrokes, putting money into the machine. The screen is flashing, red letters. He’s just won £200.

What should he do? Cash it in or put it down again? What do you think? He puts it all on black again and waits for the screen to start flashing again. Which it does. YOU WIN! Happy days.